Discussion continues:
Question: Rev. Scott it has now been seven years since left the United Church. Can you describe what happened
in those years for us?
Answer: Initially the first year was the hardest and there were alot of emotional issues to work through
firstly. Of course there was the anger directed toward people I felt had been less than honest and direct. Then naturally
there was the guilt and the self deprecation that I had to work through and eventually I dealt with these things. Financially
it is difficult and finding a way to support my family and things.
You have to realize that there was no official process at work here. That is to say I was not given notice
of termination or something. I just became persona non grata for some reason and I had to figure out that phenomena
for myself. It was in a real sense a dark night of the soul for me!
Question: Dark night of the soul! That is very descriptive. What do you mean by that?
Answer: This goes back to my previous training for ministry at the Dr. Jessie Saulteaux Centre because in
that period the words had been, "You are a part of the family!" That is official United Church wordplay and it was meant
to be an all-inclusive type doctrine which is used often.
Now I see it is easy to get caught up in these words and it implies a equality which is not really there.
The church structure is heirarchichal and when there is heirarchy there is in fact inequality.
That is not something which is easy to come to terms with especially when we remember the century or more
of discrimination that aboriginal people have put up with. Tacitly implying that someone is better than someone else makes
everyone feel uncomfortable.
So you see that there is a tension here that is being played out still and liberal theology has not resolved
that issue yet. My experience reveals that Aboriginals want equality and opportunity but too often end up with heirarchy and
then there is more suffering involved.
Question: Suffering is a powerful word and what does it mean to you looking back and all?
Answer: Certainly there was suffering involved in my spiritual journey and alot of that comes from holding
on to delusions which come from bad teachings. I was mistaken at times to struggle against the realities which I thought
were unfair but we all do that in this world. It is in the letting go of delusions that I found liberation and developed
my character in a better direction.
As a person that went into ministry I bought into a delusion that was there because in ordination I became
different than other people and this is dangerous for me. Of course I saw people in ministry doing the same thing. Indeed
that is what the training is all about in setting oneself apart as a minister or priest.
However the Saulteaux people, Anishinabe, have a word for that which is, 'Kicci Ogemow' and they use
this word to describe someone who is trying to be something that they are not. Is there any real basis for describing
oneself as a Holy Priest? Not in the Ojibwe worldview.
In the Ojibwe or Saulteaux culture there is no heirarchy and this is a valid teaching which works.
The Ojibwe worldview describes only the interconnected-ness of all sentient beings and this is a better reality at least for
me.
The good thing about leaving ones delusions is that you can find new things to learn and these new things
are more healthy for us mentally. In my case I found gifted writers and these guys wrote about the things which made
sense because I had been there. There is, for example, the Japanese writer Hiroyuki Itsuki and he writes about walking alone.
Also there is Allan Clements the American writer who states that, 'We can find liberation in ourselves!'
That is all for now.
